Dear Journal

My goal is to beat the system. Not to destroy it in any way. If that was possible in a healthy manner, I would risk my life for it any day. I wish to use the system in my advantage and the advantage of the people I love. How?

Well, first I need to get out of here. I am in a little village that’s either going to be gone a 100 years from now, or it’s going to be exactly the same…

I can’t afford to stay here. It’s not worth my time and energy. I chose to go back to Spain, where I lived freely, yet dangerously. I miss living on the edge and taking big risks. What’s life without a little bit of death anyway?

Besides a place to sleep, which is a pain in my ass when I travel without money, there is not much to worry about. I know how to find food. The main thing that concerns me is how to trust myself again, and how to keep that trust. This is the only thing I lost along my crazy journey. I feel that if I just prepare as well as I can, and dive in the rabbit hole again, that this trust will come back. Everything I really need will be provided by the universe.

My goal is to make my wildest dreams come true. Mainly to fly by any means. The craziest dream I have is to help to create a better world for everyone. That’s pretty nuts and hardcore, I admit that. Especially in the time we live in. People these days have so much stuff, yet they are poorer than starving kids in third world countries. Nobody really cares about money. People want peace, love, freedom and power, and they are brainwashed to believe they can buy all of that. Happiness is overrated. Very overrated. I am happy, half of the time. It bores the shit out of me. I need a challenge. A healthy, worthwhile challenge.

I will travel without money, AND make my wildest dreams come true. One of these dreams is to be part of a tribe filled with open minded and creative people. All with a similar vision. Only people who positively stimulate one another to move towards their dreams.

Also, I wish for just the right doses of sex, drugs and rock & roll. I truly miss that. I can do without the drugs, but I want at least more sex and rock & roll in my life. I have no sense of power these days. Positive power I mean. The ability to influence myself and others with good intentions and a positive attitude. Fuck, how did I end up here in this homeless shelter in the Netherlands? It’s cold, dark and it rains almost every day….

Soon I will go south. Right now I’m preparing myself. One thing I want to do is get a hammock. I hate sleeping in a tent. A hammock with a good sleeping bag and a tarp will be the best solution. Also, I wish to get a djembe or a guitar. I have a guitar, but it’s a shitty one. I played for a while now and I can make good money playing in the streets. A good guitar will be a great investment. On the other hand, the police can take it away any day… My idea is to smash my guitar before the police gets the chance to steal it. So far I never had big problems with authority. Only once, when I was playing with the guitar of a friend. The police took it, without questions. It was in the evening, and I played softly in a place where it was impossible to bother anyone. Except the police of course. They have a nose for love, because it’s their biggest enemy. There are some who do their job and who really believe they make a positive difference. But, there are only three kinds of police officers:

Ignorant, evil or both.

Those motherfuckers stole the guitar that my friend depended on to make money in the streets. It wasn’t even his guitar. He borrowed it from someone else who knew he needed it to sustain himself. How can they do that? Simple, they have a herd of sheep as backup. Sheep with guns…

If they wouldn’t have weapons, I would fuck them up without a doubt. All of us would, and they know it. Sometimes they are more afraid than us…All of this doesn’t matter as long as they win. I am really clear with what I mean with us and them. They are the people who tyrannize, support tyranny or ignore it. Many are not even aware of it. We are in a war zone now, and the people who don’t see that are also part of that what I refer to as THEM, Therefore I made a promise to myself. If I am right, and they are wrong, I will do everything in my power to get justice. One time when I walked around with my (ex) girlfriend, the police stopped us for no reason, and commanded me to open my bag. I refused, but they were aggressive, so I threw my bag towards them, so they could check it themselves. He held it upside down, and shook it, showing his power over me and my belongings. The two officers were standing right next to a cliff of about 30 meters high. I had the perfect opportunity to push them down. I saw it clearly. All I needed was one simple move. The only thing that kept me from doing that was my (ex) girlfriend. I didn’t want to put her in danger. Somehow, every time something like this happened, there was something or someone that calmed me down.

From the bottom of my heart, I can say that we need to get rid of all tyrannic authorities. The only real authorities nowadays are tyrannical. We need some kind of authority, because most people don’t think for themselves. People are kind of retarded to be fair. You are probably a slave too. If you feel offended that means I’m talking about you. If not, you are probably weak or ignorant, or both. Maybe, if you’re still reading, you are a courageous soul who fights for the good. This world is flipped upside down completely. Naturally, good, courageous and smart people survive. Unfortunately these qualities are dying out, because of the broken system that enslaved us. All of us. Not a few lost or broken people. Everyone with a passport, a birth certificate and who pays taxes is a slave.

Back to the positive side of the story. What I really want is to express myself freely and to be creative. To explore, go on adventure, connect with nature and with beautiful people. I wish to make documentaries about things that I’m passionate about, like magic, flow and movement. I wish to love, be kind and to share everything.

Unfortunately this is extremely hard in society. Fortunately there are some people left who didn’t sell out and who didn’t turn their backs on themselves and mother nature completely. These people are spread out everywhere. It can be hard to recognize them, because they come in all forms. I think it’s about one percent of one percent of the population that fits my description of a true human being.

But, they are spread out, like I said. So, I can find them everywhere. We can support each other and inspire each other. We NEED each other. I only know there are others like me, because I risked everything and traveled without anything.

I am traumatized by people and society. When I grew up I learned that it’s wrong to be myself. It’s wrong to play outside, naked, as a kid. I learned that it’s wrong to follow my heart and to chase my dreams. I’m not alone. Most of us learned this. Think about if for a minute. If this doesn’t resonate with you, you are either living in paradise, or you are completely brainwashed.

The most successful people rebel against this, and ignore everyone who is in their way. Literally, every successful person is honest and strong in their beliefs. This should be the norm, but the norm is to lie and to be ignorant. To follow others who also don’t know what in the world they are doing. Everything that makes sense is wrong these days. Everything rational and truly good can even be dangerous to pursue. This is what we NEED to know. I learned it the hard way. Luckily I met some people who told me I’m not crazy, and that the rest of the world is completely insane or simply lost…

I believe that parents need to teach their children to chase their wildest dreams, to be free and to take responsibility. If you are incapable of doing this, don’t get children! School is for indoctrination. Every rational and healthy person knows this, so why in the fuck would you force your children to go to school? Yes, it’s against their will. I never wanted to go to school. Most of the time I hated it, like so many normal, healthy children.

Education and learning is great. I’m talking about indoctrination centers, like most schools and churches. Now we have the internet, schools aren’t necessary anymore, at all. Motivation, action and responsibility are more important than going to school. All things you don’t learn in school. In fact, you are more likely to be punished for being motivated, acting from your heart and taking responsibility.

I need to get away from all of this again. I feel grateful that I did it before. I know how to take care of myself without money, anywhere in Europe at least. Hopefully I will reconnect with my intuition and remember to trust…

Lately the anger came back. Part of me wants to fight and to eliminate all evil in the world. Another part of me knows that good and evil are part of the game, and our world depends on this duality. I know how to be at ease, but this peaceful and content attitude doesn’t change much. A natural born killer at one extreme, and a zen master on the other. In the middle I get bored and I don’t get things done. Well, I don’t know how. So for now I depend on these extremes.

I might as well use them. Pack my shit, walk out of the door and take control of my life.

On this blog I will express and share my adventures. My life purpose is to be free. To be able to manifest everything I choose, at will. Basically, to be the greatest magician I can ever be. I will fly. I need to. Right now the sun is coming up. I didn’t feel the sun for weeks, so I think I will go for a walk now.

Thanks for reading. It feels weird to write about personal stuff like this. I hope you like it, or take something valuable out of it.

Freedom, love and action,
Yours truly,

Magical Journey…

2 thoughts on “Dear Journal

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